Twelve years ago this February I became a mom. Since then, motherhood has been one of the most profound teachers I’ll ever know. Challenging me every day, motherhood forces me to notice my weak spots and gives me opportunities for growth and change.
Modern motherhood isn’t for the meek. We mamas face challenges whether it be dealing with budgeting the rising cost of childcare, to managing a household with or without a partner’s help, to managing schedules with activities and sports and somehow getting a decent meal in there somewhere, let alone a family-sit-down-dinner.
When your therapist suggests, “how about increasing self care?”, you may scoff and wonder if she’s nuts. Self care can be the ultimate indulgence when all we are focused on is getting through the day unscathed.
So what’s a mama to do? If getting your nails done or having a moment to yourself or getting a trip away with her partner is laughable, yet you also know this isn‘t the healthiest road you’ve been on...what are you to do?
You allow this moment. Here, and now.
You allow these feelings of overwhelm to be present. You allow feelings of helplessness, grief, frustration, irritability, stress. They are visitors. You notice.
Acceptance is the beginning of freedom. It is the beginning of waking up to your crazy schedule and being able to see where you can set boundaries. It’s the beginning of being aware that your mental, emotional, spiritual, physical health is as important as your family’s.
It’s the beginning of change.
When we allow, we are present there in the moment. We are no longer fighting our impulses and drives to react in frustration or pain.
When we relinquish our resistance to feelings and are are present with all the thoughts, feelings and sensations in the moments, this is the start of self-compassion.
And when we embrace self-compassion, we begin to open to true and lasting transformation.